i’ve never had such a horrifying reality check before than the one that hit me the past few days. even my facebook looks so pathetic and lonely. my life.. 

HOLY SHIT YA’LL

everything i always wanted is starting to happen.

Boyfriend decides to bail on school and come back home. Now we’re looking online via skype for an apartment together. 

IS. THIS. REAL. LIFE.

Crowded in that tiny, loud livingroom. I was focused on trying to look in between everyones shoulders to watch the ball drop. One hand on yours so you don’t accidentally get too far away from me. At the end of the countdown i turned towards you, the blue light from the t.v illuminating your face. I kissed you as hard as i could.

I like waking up earlier than you. Staring at how the sunlight catches onto every curve of your back. I want to kiss every inch of you.

It’s watching the guy on the bike in the lane next to me reach back and squeeze the girl on the back’s calf while speeding ahead. Or looking back in the rearview and seeing the guy behind you smiling down at his cell at a red light. All the while Ian Metzger’s voice is softly playing in the car. Background music. My life always seems to have adequate background music… It’s like my mind makes me notice those swift little moments that never seem to let you think you’re anything but the loneliest person on earth. 

I closed my eyes and I see your beautiful smile, your eyes all lit up.. You’re always so warm. And i smell your skin whenever i can. Run my hands over your hair just to feel the curls… The other night you had your head on my chest, and you fell asleep on me while we were on the couch. I couldn’t stop kissing your forehead but i didn’t want to wake you up. I wish i didn’t have to go more than 1 day without you.

If you’re reading this, i’m so sorry for calling you a bitch last night in my sleep. Lol.

I really really like being the big spoon, dear.